So, today in summary?
5am - fell asleep, finally
11am - woke up
12pm - tablets (pill, antidepressants, etc)
1.20pm - diet pills (2x Apidexin)
2pm - apple, ham (110? cals)
3pm - 4 vita grain biscuits (80 cals)
4pm - ham (30 cals)
6pm - lasagne, roasted potatoes, garlic bread
6.30pm - shower, purged some dinner
That's it so far. It's the diet pills that are making me feel absolutely terrible. It's so hard to fall asleep. I've felt dizzy and sick all day. And then tonight I purged - first time successfully.
Saturday morning - 74.9 (164) - the day before was a binge - I took some progress pictures to compare against in a couple weeks!
Thursday night - 71.1 (157)
But is it worth feeling like crap? To be honest: yes.
Read this in a magazine last night:
She goes on to explain that she started failing classes and such, but isn't that somewhat "inspiring"?I began to really control what I was eating and soon realised that when I was at school no one would notice if I wasn't eating anything. So I basically wouldn't eat at school for a fully day and when I'd get home I'd have dinner and be sick afterwards. I lost a lot of weight really quickly.I was probably around a size 14 (US 10) before all this happened but for my age I was healthy. I then dropped to a size 8-10 (US 4-6).
My family is going away next week: Monday to Thursday. I'll be home alone. I guess the plan is to just eat at night, and purge. And take diet pills. And maybe some fibre tablets.
It's like, I read that, and I KNOW it's not healthy. But I'm at the stage where I'm feeling in control and that all of this is 100% planned and purposeful, and it will be simple to stop when I lose enough weight. I mean, it's creepy purging for the first time - it's definitely not a proud moment - but I'm so sure I can stop whenever.
I'll let you all know how it's going. And thank you for your lovely comments, dears!
15 comments:
just becareful hunny
if the pills make u sick dont take them
i had to stop taking mine they fucked with my heart to much
love u
what kind of pills are they ???
Do you realize the dangers of purging?!?! I wouldn't want anything to happen to you.
:(
Careful hun. Purging won't be easy to give up once you get started. And think of your poor teeth! And how puffy and swollen your face gets (at least mine does...).
Take care of yourself, luv. <3 <3
xoxox
The neverending cycle of purging. Please take care of yourself and follow the advice that you gave me. It's so silly that we know the dangers, yet the desire to be thin and beautifully perfect is too strong to stop. I'd quit those pills though, I don't want anything to happen to you :(
well, i don't need to tell you that purging=bad (duh.), but i wanna point out that purging fucks up your metabolism, so the idea that you can just stop purging when you get to your goal weight doesn't work so well. it just makes you gain back so much more weight so much quicker and it makes it harder to lose again (not to mention you feel like crap). plus, purging makes you lose muscle, so you're like a flabby skinny chick. not really ideal.
the problem is... if you know you are going to purge anyway, you are inclined to binge. if you binge, you have less chances of getting EVERYTHING out completely by purging and a lot of it may get digested without you knowing. i guess not eating is a safer bet. however, if you find you can control it, then your just better at it than me :)
xxxx
It inspires the sick part of me to want to one-up her, but I really cannot afford to jeopardize my already shitty grades. (Academic probation)
The channel will happen eventually. Probable later rather than sooner. I've got 2 rather hefty % assignments due on Monday. I also don't get on well with YouTube ^.^;
You, Mich is awesome. Sooo much soft, nummy warm wool!
Have a good weekend, stay safe ok?
Try to be as safe as possible with the pills. Goood luck with your goals. You can do it! I LOVE that picture you posted. "Don't wish for it, work for it" That's perrrfeecccttt!
It is, but I reckon diabulimia is even more dangerous than 'regular' bulimia. You've got all the potential risks of both illnesses!
I take pills too. It's totally okay! :)
And I know you are in control! I believe you!
Keep strong girl! Lots of love
xxx
Sofia
(follow my blog for support? my-abc-diet.blogspot.com)
Your comment was super inspiring! Thank you for encouraging me. I make it seem really easy in my bubbly posts but you know as well as I do that it isn't easy at all. I hope we can become good friends!
LOTS OF LOVE! XX
Hey girl! Reading your entries reminds me SO much of mine, so inspiring to have someone in the same position as me! And I don't want to be like obnoxious and spam-y BUT feel free to look at mine (anything for thin).. I'm struggling with the followers and I'm needing some affirmation in my blogging :]
Hey, just found your blog! And its AWESOME! :) Keep it up. You're amazing.
-bella
I am not here to tell you how to live your life. But if you want health, and bones, and a beautiful body. Then you have to be eating 1200 calories a day. If you don't do this, you will gain excessive weight.
I lost 20 pounds by eating 1200 calories a day. Then I increased my intake to 1600, and I haven't gained a pound.
If you want to achieve something. You have to make it attainable. I'm an athlete and spent my life dieting, and eating healthy.
You have to eat. Your weight is attainable but not if you do it this way. It will not work.
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