Wow. I'm not doing too well. We went clubbing last night, and there was this guy there that looked a lot like my ex-boyfriend. I was so tense and scared. (For those that don't know, he was verbally and physically abusive.) I just...had to get away. It was horrible. I don't know if it was him or not, but it literally made me want to vomit. Mind you, I have to remember that if I was still with him, I would NOT have been out clubbing and dancing in a short dress. Absolutely not. I'd be at home, being pushed around and crying. And right now, I can hear my brother and his girlfriend argue in his room. He's kinda forceful with her and upsets her, and I hate it. I just went in there and broke their arguement up. I cannot deal with men that treat their women with ANY kind of physical force. It's just not okay - and it scares me. And guys that don't let their girlfriends have guy friends, or talk to guys, and that check their phone messages and Facebook history and all of that. This is why I still don't want to have a boyfriend again for a very long time.
Ugh. I know not all men are like this, but the ones that I know are, and it's not fair. It makes me sick.
It is absolutely freezing outside. And I got home after 5am today. Other than the minor issue above, last night was quite swell. I just end up closing my eyes and dancing because I don't want to look any guys in the eye. Males make me feel sick.
I wish I had something worthy to write about.
Oh. Purging becomes easy and addictive very quickly. There's a facinating fact for you.
On Sunday the 1st, I was 160.1 pounds.
On Tuesday the 10th, I was 153.2 pounds.
Yeah, sounds great. But at the moment, I'm 154.5. Ew.
Only one more week of uni classes, then exams, and then 10 weeks of holidays. I have no idea what I'm going to do. I think most people know that in terms of food control and such, it's better to be at school/uni/work, and weekends suck. So this holiday will be interesting. I should find something productive today.
Err, I need a cigarette. Theoretically. But no. I should take up smoking full time. Not really.
If I don't fit into my dream outfit by the 5th of June, I will simply die!
19 comments:
no girl should have to take this, dear. really. we don't need men who are abusive in our lives, there is no point of that.
my theory is that relationships are supposed to be fun. if that's not the case just end it. I'm not afraid to be alone for a while and neither should you :)
hope you are feeling better!
I had a boyfriend like that. I'm so glad you got away from him (I think I've said this before). And well done for standing up to your brother about it.
Not all guys are like that AT ALL.
Could you get a job? Or volunteer? I'm probably going to be volunteering on a kids summer camp, I'll have to eat some, but I won't be at home and I'll be super busy all the time. Just something to keep busy? xxx
Abusive relationships should never exist. I know what its like, my dad was abusive to me before, and then he got reported, so he's kinda settled down a bit. Its strange, but i dont want to be the victim of his rage any longer.
OMG yes its freezing in Sydney!
Lucky holidays are coming up! Im in the middle of my half-year exams...GRR study!
Stay safe, darling.
zz
men like that are just uggh! horrible.
two of my brothers are like that. i hate them for it.
im glad you got away while you did i heard some pretty disturbing stories from my brothers ex wife of what he done to her.
oh and what is your dreeam outfit?
xx
yeah no girl should be treated that way i was in an emotionally abusive relationship b4 the one that i am in now and im still fucke dup from it
take care of ruself hun
I'm sorry that the men in your life are like that, I hope you can find someone to treat you right.
I know how it feels to have an abusive boyfriend, they suck and make you afraid of other boys for a while. I know you'll find a perfect guy some day, someone who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Good luck on your last week of class!
You shouldn't have to deal with a guy like that, I'm glad you got out of that relationship! I'm sorry he's still affecting you, though.
Best of luck with your last week of classes!
Although my ex-boyfriend wasn't abusive or anything along those lines, I hated that he wouldn't let me have other guy friends. Even friends that I've had for YEARS before I knew him were an issue. He'd sneak my phone and read messages, and then confront me as if it was any of his business! It really frustrated me, but thankfully, he's gone now.
Good luck with vacation, I totally agree that school often keeps one busy and their mind off of food, but you can do it!
Your ex-boyfriend is an asshole. Just gonna leave it at that...
Smoking and purging are so addictive! My bf smokes so when he gets home i share cigarettes with him :(
Wow, what an awful thing to see when you're out to have a good time! I'm glad you took control though.
I know it is so freeeezing! Melb weather sucks!
I cant stand guys like that, my ex was physically abusive but verbally yea. No girl should ever have to go through that with someone whose supposed to care for them. I'm glad you enjoyed your night besides that. But he's out of your life now, it's your life and you can live it how you want having fun without him.
i can't stand guys that don't know that u shouldn't hit women :/ its just wrong , and the other way around too ofcourse.
my ex never hit me or anything but he said umm a lot of not so nice things and if it counts he always like forced me to go to bed with him even though he was aware of my ed and that i dont really sometimes want anyone to even see me so :/ i broke up with him on last valentine's day.
i hope ur okay ! <3
and if u have time would be nice if u went to see my blog and follow me if u like im not saying u should but i would appreciate it :) x
no one, girl or guy, deserves to be treated like shit. and especially not off the person who is supposed to watch out for them, love them and care for them.
fair play to you stopping your brothers argument, when people get caught up in a fight they may not realize how upsetting they can be and you might of stopped it from getting that far :)
I agree with weekends and holidays sucking, but you can still find ways to keep busy :) i find it best to keep out of the house! if im home, i will eateateat. but if im out, i dont feel the need to haha!
good luck :) <3
I just found your blog, and I'm confused. Profile says you live in the US, yet you watch Degrassi and talk about the cost of bananas in Australia. Can you clear that up? I'm honestly so confused.
But lovely blog :).
I'm so sorry you had to go through such an abusive relationship, but glad you got out of it. And even though this bozo may have upset you when you went out, it's probably a good thing that you did go out, release some stress, tension, energy.
Good luck with school and exams -- and of course the goal for June 5th :):).
Good for you for ditching that asshole. You deserve to be able to go out and enjoy life, not sit at home being hurt by some prick. I'd take some self-defense classes if I were you. It'll come in handy if any guy (including him) ever tried to hurt you again. At least you could go out without having to worry so much.
Good luck, and be safe.
Oh God, that just sounds awful :(
I think you should have a word with your brother about that, does he know about your ex? Because that seems a little insensitive to me.
But, I feel you on the whole over-protective boyfriend issue, that gets to me too!
Well done on weight loss. I need to smoke too btw, but I got no filters.. it's a tough life for us :(
Good luck, and keep it up, beautiful xx
My father was emotionally, physically and economically abusive to us. Thank goodness he is out of my life now. And my brother has unbelievable short temper and I hate it. I hate the fact that we constantly have to walk on eggshells around him and try not upset him. Otherwise he'll hit someone or something.
So men like that infuriate me too. No one should define how people live their lives and men like that control you by being happy only when it suits them and making you feel scared when they're not happy.
So I have trust issues with guys.
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