So, it's 1.24pm, and I realised why I don't have/want a boyfriend. I'm too dependant. When I'm single, it's okay. But if I have someone to rely on, I will rely fully on them. I'll become that ex that so many guys have - the crazy one who forgot to take her meds and went crazy and ate their pet dog. Okay, maybe not the last bit. But still, pretty much everyone in my uni friendship group has a partner, or likes someone. It's just me that wants to be alone.
I have a feeling that this probably won't make sense, or that it will sound bad, but here it is:
In my uni friendship group, there are these two guys that I get along with. Both are affectionate towards me - hugs, holding hands, snuggling - and it's just how it is in the group. Both are also in love with different girls. Now, one is going on a first date this weekend, the other asked a girl out last night (I think). So, I'm about to lose the affection that I did have with the male world, without the risk of dependancy. However, I'm quite annoyed, particularly at the one who asked a girl out. It is totally not my place to be annoyed. I just am. I want someone to be affectionate with, and by next week, I will probably have noone. I don't know whether to get close to another guy, or just to pretend that I'm okay with it. See, this really doesn't even make sense to me. I'm so frustrated.
I really need to stop talking. I'm thinking I might do the 28 Day Plan sometime soon. It's not really a diet, as such. It's more of a lifestyle change. Check it out if you want. I don't know.
Lame.
17 comments:
Aw hun I'm a girl but I wish I could be there for you :( I know it wouldn't be the same but best friends are usually closer than a girl and guy could be together! I wish I was there to give you a hug. So I'll give you a virtual hug! ~hugs~
It's totally understandable to feel that way. You're going to loose him to he, and even though he's not w/you ar anything you know it wont be the same. Godd luck hun!
<3 xoxox
awwwww I am sorry that your feeling the way that you do!!!!! Its totally normal to feel the way that you are!!!! its nice have affection from someone else without having any attachment it leaves less room to be hurt, its just hard when you dont have that anymore especially if it is a friend!!!! Stay strong girl and dont worry about it you havent lost him as a friend and things could change for the better!!!! I wish you all the best and lots of hugs and affection!!!!
stay strong you are lovely!!!!
xD i cracked up at the psycho ex who eats the dog >.< .. really? what goes on in that wee head of yours?! xD love it!
Im sorry that you feel that way,but it kinda sounds to me like you like him. or the affection he gives you either one and you have to learn to separate the 2 in your head, take the time to think about it is it him or the way he treats you because im sure there are tonnes of other people who would die to hug and hold your hand etc! xD
jeez, I WILL even hold your hand,
have you seen 40year old virgin? sounds like YOU need a fuck buddy!!! :P had to say it... sorry..
Goodluck with the 28 day plan xoxox
I used to feel just like you do. I didn't want a real "relationship" for similar reasons to yours. But then I'd get attached to the friends-with-benefits guys (or whatever you wanna call them) and be pissed when they were with other girls.
finally, i found a guy who felt just like i did, and just like you do now. and so we just ended up together and now we've been together for 2 years and it's great. for the first 6 months to a year, it was CRAZY, though, as you can imagine it might be for 2 ppl who tried to deny that they wanted a relationship together at first.
but the reason i tell you this story is to say that it CAN work out. but you can't have a "friend with benefits" forever, because one of you will eventually want more . . . every single time. either more from each other or more from a third person.
so just find someone who is like you.
i guess that comment was way too long . . . sorry. i just really connected with what you were saying.
I guess it's good you were getting affection from those guys, and that it could remain a totally platonic thing. I have so many chick friends who can't do that without falling in love with every guy lol.
do u like this guy and haven't worked it out yet? Or just annoyed cos you will lose that intimacy without strings? I have an amazing gay friend who always hugs me and holds my hand lol. Don't have to worry about them ditching you for a chick haha
I checked out the plan thingy, interesting concept, making everything positive i guess. I wish i could remain in something like that but i get bored with routine so easily lol.
Chin up :)
xx
I think that plan sounds interesting i'm thinking of trying it now!
sorry you feel this way about guys, affection is good and everyone needs abit of affection a bit of a flirt here and there. You're very strong and that fact that you can say you're single and ok with it is such a good thing.
x
thanks babygirl. i did smile. i feel about the same about being single. i'm fine on my own until i'm not on my own, then i can be needy as hell. not out loud, but you know what i mean. except i'm not affectionate at all. you're crazy. but at least you've got some mental health left. i hope you find somebody to cuddle. it can get lonely when everyone else couples up. hang in there.
xoxo
zette
I'm the exact same, when I am single I'm fine, having a boy makes me feel, which I used to like, then eventually the empty feeling became normal, and I realised I was fine alone. I depended on my ex L for everything, now I realise how much I like being responsible for myself. Not having a boyfriend means you can do whatever you like, and you can never screw up.
Oh and its not fair that you get to get "affectionate" and I totally don't...I loved your comment by the way! I won't sleep with him!
I think we should both forget about males, totally impossible, but a nice thought.
if males and food disappeared our lives would be amazing. stay strong beautiful, xxx
My brain keels over dead that the mere though of Statistics. I'm in total awe of you right now. HOW do you do it!? 0.0
aww hun, i understand. i'm goin through the same thing. my best friend now has a gf. ive never really wanted a bf because ive always had him to be there for me. always there to hold hands and cuddle. but now, he's not there. :/
i sorta want a boyfriend, which is something ive never really thought i needed before.
:)xxxx
u hm hun idk if ima b h=much help here ive been in the same realtionship for 7 years so idk
but its good that u get affection from them and hey mayb those dates wont work out and u will still have the affection if k=just c how it goes
totally, like im totally content and chill when im single but theres always that urge to be with someone, but when i am, i feel like i rely on the relationship and then i totally lose myself and i dont have boundaries..its strange...sry i couldn't be more help love :/
<333
Awww, thank you <3
Hey erm i'm sorry for commenting coz what i have to say has nothing to do with your topic but i have an important question: well i'm eating less than 700 calories each day. I've been sucessfull for a week but now it seems like i'm gaining weight! My.stomach suddenly looks huge. What is happening? Here's my mail adress: suzanne.bope@gmx.at .. i'd appreciate every
*every reply
I'm sorry I couldn't be there physically to help you, but hey there is blogspot. hahah. I like your new plan and will most likely try it! I know you and I will find a boyfriend. Just like you said (oh and thanks for the kind words), I just know we will!
I hope you find what you are looking for, I have learned that even when I'm with someone...I still feel alone a lot of the time. The suggestions about checking your feelings...def try...feelings and emotions always get in the way. I also have a very dependent personality, I do believe in the right kind of relationship, things kind of even out. This is what I'm praying for anyway....Sending you love and happiness!
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