Well When We Show Up, They're Going To Be So Jealous

Oh, how I crave my parents' attention. How I yearn for them to talk to me; to recognise me. I feel so invisible and alone. It seems that when I sit at the table, it's not the food that's upsetting me; it's the fact I am mostly ignored. When I am recognised, it is only to make fun of me or tell me off or make me feel bad about myself. My brother's girlfriend is there half the time, and she gets so much more attention than I do. I've convinced myself they would appreciate me more if she left. My brother would be nicer to me. My mum wouldn't be such a bitch to me. She is the cause of these problems. I hope they break up. That's horrible, but it's so true. I want her to go.

I was in such a good mood before dinner. It's just past 7pm, and now I feel like shit. Sad and alone, but what's new? It's just..after the last few days of feeling incredibly happy and free, I'm back to where I started.

I don't know how to feel better.

I've had calories upon calories over the past few days. Now, I have the urge to starve myself again. To never place a piece of food near my lips as long as I live.

Some days I'm so lonely.

How to feel better?