You Tried Your Best And You Knew It Wouldn't Last

Okay, I want to make a rough mental health timeline. Bear with me.

6 years old - separation anxiety - saw a social worker

At 7 years old - first memory of OCD - counting/walking/performing in fives - this continued and progressively got worse, with the number changing at some point from five to three

Between the ages of 13 and 16, I:

• experienced my first breakdown
• had my OCD increase in severity
• became moderately depressed
• experienced phobias of a number of various stimuli and situations including aeroplans and lifts -
• attempted suicide
• began to self harm
• abused pain medication
• saw a psychologist

Between the ages of 17 and 18, I:

• experienced a second breakdown
• self-harmed
• had anger management issues
• started to see another psychologist
• experienced selective mustism
• became agoraphobic
• had severe social anxiety and generalised anxiety disorder
• had severe OCD and moderate depression
• was verbally, physically and sexually abused by a partner
• experienced a third breakdown
• had severe deprssion
• became severely agorapobic and socially anxious
• refused counselling and was put on antidepressants
• started to count calories, restrict food and exercise
• worked my way over 3 months to becoming close to fully functioning

And there you go. Quite sad, really. And I know there are things that I probably missed, but that's the general experience. I don't know. I needed to write it somewhere. That's pretty much everything that I have experienced and been diagnosed with. Sigh. It's 1.38pm. That's all I have to say for now.