It's 1.12pm. I woke up about an hour ago. It's day one of my "challenge", and I can't think of much else. I have been watching the midday movie (with the exception of having to take my brother's friend to work) and it's quite good. I just checked: it's called Though None Go With Me. So sad, but so wonderful.
I went to the city with my friends a couple days ago. We were in the chemist testing aftershave - by that I mean spraying it on one another - and I picked up my ex-boyfriend's aftershave - Joop. My friend sprayed it on me. I've worn this top for the last three days, and the smell is still there. As much as I hate him with everything that I am, the smell is so comforting, reminding me of the good times we had together (it was the aftershave he used at the start of our relationship, when things were good). I don't want to wash the smell off. There is only one other thing of his that I can stand to have out - his raincoat. He wore it only once, when we were together only a couple months. It sits in my wardrobe and I see it while I'm there, and it's another thing that is comforting. I've never worn it; perhaps I will one day. Everything else he left I either threw away or hid in a box deep within my old stuffed toys. I can't bear to go near it, yet. It's a secret, and I'm not 100% of sure this, but I think I still want him, even after everything he did. I'm sure I could forgive it all. I don't know...
Anyway, I want to keep my calorie intake low today. I think diet pepsi (1 cal) and an ice-block (65 cals) will do well during the next couple hours. Perhaps some tic tacs (1 cal each) and some gum (5 cals) can satisfy cravings, and if I am truly hungry after all that, some soup (88 cals). Quite high, but it is satisfying. I will have to eat dinner with my family tonight, and I'll be sure to make note of what I have. Shouldn't be more than 500 calories, I hope.
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